About two years ago, I got a call from my mother. “You know,” she said, “that Alexa is really working out. I was feeling a little depressed, so I told Alexa to play some nice music, and that’s exactly what she did. In a few minutes, I was feeling so much better!”
Alexa had become, not exactly a companion, but a presence in my mother’s home — one that made both her, and myself, feel a little better. This was at least part of what I hoped would happen when I first went shopping for an Echo device. Websites focused on senior care are full of advice on how to add Amazon’s smart speakers as a useful tool, and Amazon’s technology was designed to make tech more approachable and accessible — goals that it often, though not always, succeeds at.
My mother grew up at a time when just having a home telephone was new and exciting
Here’s how it started. My mother had lived most of her life as a teacher in the NYC public schools system, a smart, savvy woman with a master’s in education, a progressive political point of view, and a sometimes irritating ability to assume charge of almost any situation. But she was now entering her late 90s and beginning to have serious problems with her health and her short-term memory recall. Despite her determination to stay independent as long as possible — by playing games on her computer, keeping up with the news, and writing copious journal entries of her day-to-day activities — this increasingly affected her ability to do simple tasks, to learn new skills, and to live independently.
We were able to hire an aide to help her during the daylight hours — make meals, clean up, and help with other chores that she was now unable to do herself. But my mom was also stubborn and refused to have anyone there at night or to wear any kind of emergency button in case she needed help. I lived about 40 minutes away and only spent weekends with her. We needed some way of making sure she was okay when she was the only person in the apartment.
So I got her an Amazon Echo Show 8 smart display in the hopes that it could be the beginning of a smart home system that would help keep her safe and active. It all depended on how well my mother, who grew up at a time when just having a home telephone was new and exciting, would accept the device. The Echo’s eight-inch screen was large enough for her to be able to view it easily but small enough so it wouldn’t overwhelm the room. She could interact with the personal assistant, while the camera would allow me to interact with her remotely. I set it up and introduced her to Alexa.
And — it worked. Sort of.
I thought we could start by using it as a way to communicate visually. That was pretty much a failure. My mother was used to calling people on a phone, and while she was impressed with the whole “see the person you’re talking to” idea, she wasn’t very enthusiastic about using it herself. “It’s not for me,” she said firmly.
Okay, I thought, there’s always the “drop-in” feature. I could use it to monitor what was happening in the apartment. However, the Echo Show had been placed in a small room off the kitchen that we called “The Den” where my mother had her meals, wrote in her journal, and spent a lot of her time — and as a result, it could only “see” into that room and the kitchen. The one time I suggested that I put cameras around the apartment, I got one of her looks — the one that made me feel as if I were five years old again. A camera in the bedroom? No way.
But luckily, there were some things the Echo did help with. About that time, my mother’s ancient bedside clock radio finally gave up the ghost. With some trepidation, I replaced it with an Echo Dot with Clock — and was delighted when my mother informed me that she loved it! She could not only see what time it was but also ask Alexa what the weather was, right from her bed. And what made me happy was that I was able to teach her to yell, “Alexa, call Barbara” if she needed me in an emergency. Between the Dot and the Show, Alexa could now respond no matter where my mother was in the apartment — including the bathroom with the door closed. (I checked.) She only used the feature a couple of times, and never for an actual emergency, but it was there for “just in case.”
In the end, though, the most important gift that the two Echos gave to my mother was music.
Decades ago, my parents bought what was then the latest in audio technology: a modular stereo system that consisted of a turntable, a receiver, an AM / FM radio, and a cassette tape player. Now it sat unused, having become too complicated for my mother to deal with. But with the Echo, she could play music whenever she liked. She didn’t even have to remember the names of the songs she liked or the musicians that she had once doted on. All she had to do was say, “Alexa, play some quiet music,” or “Alexa, play some happy music.” Alexa would play some old-time blues or folk or big-band music. And I’d get a call about how she had listened to her music and how good it made her feel.
Did the two Echos do everything I had hoped they would? Well, yes and no. They certainly gave my mother a simple and friendly way to get information and reminders. More importantly, they provided a way that she could contact me in an emergency. But I never found the time to install other smart setups that were available. It was, at least then, just too complex a task to deal with.
In fact, Amazon has experimented with extending the usefulness of its smart devices for seniors. I never got around to trying Amazon’s $20-a-month Alexa Together service, which connected to its own 24/7 emergency service — and it was apparently not very successful, since it was discontinued in June of this year. I might have opted for the less expensive Emergency Assistant feature, which allows users to contact emergency services and was introduced last September. But by that time, my mother was getting round-the-clock care from family and aides and was no longer in need of it.
Still, the Echo was good to have. Near the end of her life, when my mother was bedridden and too weak to speak, I could sit next to her and say, “Alexa, play some Woody Guthrie” or “Alexa, play some Bessie Smith” or “Alexa, play some Count Basie.” The music would start, and my mother would smile — and would, for a time, feel better. And although Amazon’s smart speaker was not the perfect answer to all our needs, for those few moments, I will always be grateful to Alexa.
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